The Easter Hunt
by Delas
Summary: Kakashi has given Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke a special mission and it's not entirely certain they will come out of it alive! Oh, the horror! **COMPLETE**
1. Chapter 1

Ahahaha an Easter fic. It IS Easter after all. And since its currently… *checks clock* 2:12 in the morning and I'm bored, here goes nothing. 

"I'm bored…" Naruto complained loudly.

"Oh just shut up Naruto. No one cares." Sakura said.

Sasuke completely ignored the two and stared off into space.

"You'd think for a Jounin, Kakashi could at least show up on time ONCE. Just once, that's all I'm asking!" Sakura grumbled.

"Oh just shut up Sakura. No one cares." Naruto mimicked. Sakura shot him a death glare.

"Quiet you, or I'll decorate your face with my kunai." 

Naruto edged farther away from Sakura, which resulted in him falling off the rock the trio was perched on.

"Ow."

"Baka…" Sakura muttered. That's when it dawned on Sakura that she was alone, on a rock, with Sasuke. Blushing furiously, she slowly edged closer to Sasuke, all sorts of romantic and highly improbable situations racing through her mind. She giggled quietly to herself. Sasuke stared strait ahead and completely ignored her.

"Sorry I'm late. A black cat crossed my path and I had to go hunt it down and brutally kill it." Kakashi announced, appearing out of thin air on a nearby tree branch.

"Finally! I thought you'd forgotten about us completely!" Sakura exclaimed.

Kakashi shrugged. "I thought about it."

Sakura sat there for a second in confused silence, then gave up trying to figure out her instructor. 

"So what are we learning about today?"

Kakashi scratched his head. "Oops."

"Oops?" Sakura asked.

"I didn't plan for anything today."

There was a dead silence before Sakura yelled shrilly "What the hell kind of instructor are you!?"

Naruto groaned and crawled his way back up the rock, sitting back down at waving at Kakashi.

"Hi Kakashi-sensei!" 

Kakashi waved cheerfully back.

Sasuke completely ignored the two and stared off into space.

"Well, what are we going to do now?" Sakura demanded.

Kakashi rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Good question. Let me go find out." He said, and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Wait!" Sakura called out, then slumped in defeat. 

""I'm bored…" Naruto complained.

Sakura sighed and nodded her head. "So am I."

"Do you think he's coming back?"

"Knowing our luck, no."

Sasuke completely ignored the two and stared off into space.

^______________________________^

Iruka slumped down in a chair in his kitchen, idly eating some ramen as he reviewed some notes for his class. It was peacefully quiet when suddenly there was an explosion of smoke on his table and a voice screamed "IRUKA!" at him.

Iruka choked on his ramen and jumped backwards in alarm, coughing furiously. Kakashi jumped off the table and grabbed Iruka by his jacket, shaking him back and forth.

"IRUKA I NEED SOME HELP!"

"Maybe… if you… stopped… shaking me… I… could... help…" he choked out. Kakashi let go and stepped away, blushing. 

"Sorry!"

Iruka cleared his throat and glared at him. 

"Are you _trying_ to give me a heart attack?! You scared the crap out of me!"

"Sorry."

"And you don't just appear out of thin air on someone's _table_! Where the hell did you get your manners from?!"

"Sorry."

"Do you _normally_ go around scaring people for the fun of it? Do you _enjoy _giving innocent respectable people heart attacks?"

"Sorry."

"I don't _recall_ giving you permission to come in my house. Most _normal_ people use the front door and are polite about it!"

"Sorry."

"If you say sorry one more time I'm going to shove my chopsticks down your throat."

Kakashi snapped his mouth shut.

"Now, what is it you want?" Iruka asked. 

"I forgot to plan something to teach today." Kakashi confessed.

Iruka shook his head. "You're hopeless."

Kakashi grinned. "I know." Iruka just rolled his eyes. 

"Too bad it's not a holiday or something, I don't feel like teaching today." 

"Well you're in luck, today _is_ a holiday!"

"…really?"

"Yeah, it's Easter." Iruka stated.

"Easter?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah, Easter. You know, with the bunnies and chocolate eggs and stuff."

"I don't what you're talking about, but it sounds like my kind of holiday."

"Well, if you need a lesson plan, here's what you can do…"

^______________________________^

"Is he here yet?"

"No."

"Is he here yet?"

"No."

"Is he here yet?"

"No."

"Is he here yet?"

"No."

"Is he here yet?"

"NO! HE'S NOT HERE YET! AND HE WON'T BE HERE! NOT EVER!"

"…oh."

"Hey, did you guys miss me?" Kakashi asked, appearing on the rock next to Naruto.

"No." Sakura and Naruto answered in unison.

Sasuke ignored the three and stared off into space.

Kakashi stared at Sasuke and raised an eyebrow, noticing him for the first time.

"How long has he been staring off into space like that?"

Sakura shrugged. "We found him like that this morning."

Kakashi waved his hand in front of Sasuke's face and shrugged when he got no reaction. 

"Oh well. Anyways, I've got a mission for you guys! It's a special one today, because it's Easter."

"Easter?" Naruto asked, confused.

"Yeah Easter. You know, the holiday with bunnies and chocolate eggs."

Sakura stared at Kakashi as if he had grown a second head. "If you say so…"

"Your mission is to go into the Forest of Death and fill these Easter baskets with the special colored eggs hidden there." Kakashi said, pulling out three baskets from some unknown place.

Naruto's jaw dropped. "Why the hell do we have to do that?! That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard! We could be killed over a basket of eggs!"

"Ah, but the person who brings back their basket of eggs first gets a special reward!"

"IS IT RAMEN?"

"Maaaaaaaaaybe. You'll have to win to find out."

Kakashi passed out the baskets, handing a blue one to Sasuke, who finally snapped out of whatever trance he had been in (A/N: *coughDRUGScough*), an orange one to Sakura, and a pink one to Naruto.

"What gives?! Why do I get pink and Sakura gets orange? What the hell kind of sense does that make?" Naruto complained loudly.

Kakashi ignored him. "Whoever fills their basket with seven eggs first and brings them back to me _unbroken _gets the reward. The losers get no lunch."

Sakura and Sasuke nodded while Naruto looked like Christmas had just been cancelled.

"Go ahead and go to the Forest, I'll be waiting outside." Kakashi said and disappeared.

Naruto groaned. "No lunch? That's cruel."

^______________________________^

It's getting late, I have to get some sleep! ^_^* Chapter 2 will be up later today.


	2. Chapter 2

O.o I've gotten flames! WOW! Let's see… there was some slight anger about the whole Sasuke drug thing. I was just making a joke! He wasn't _actually_ stoned in the fic. He was just ignoring everybody. Sheesh, humor me people. ANYWAYS here is the last part, a little late because I have been stabbed four times and my ego has been severally damaged. Hehe. Actually it's late cause I went somewhere for Easter! How bizarre… and this has a really horrible ending, but oh well. I had to do it. 

^______________________________^

"AGHHHHHH!" Naruto screamed, running full speed away from some unidentifiable monster. It looked kind of looked like a crab with about ten sausages coming out where it's eyes were supposed to be. Naruto wasn't entirely sure about that because he was too busy running away and screaming to actually get a good look at it. Oh well.

"Why does this always happen to me?!" Naruto wailed

"Maybe because everybody hates you." A voice answered next to him.

Naruto whipped his head to the side and found himself nose to nose with Sasuke, who was running along beside him. 

"Sasuke, what are you doing here? Haven't you noticed that there is a giant crab monster chasing me? And not everybody hates me!!" Naruto exclaimed, glancing nervously back at the crab thing.

"Well, to answer your first question, I'm here to see how many eggs you found." Sasuke answered calmly, racing along side of him and completely ignoring the raging beast behind them.

"Oh. Well, I've found two already!" Naruto answered, grinning proudly. "How many do you have? And where's your basket?"

"I left it. I don't need a basket to carry around eggs. As for how many I have, with your eggs I have six." Sasuke stated and grabbed the basket out of Naruto's hand, jumping away and disappearing into the trees. 

Naruto skidded to a halt and stared in astonishment into the trees where Sasuke had fled. 

"Hey, that's not fair!" He shouted angrily. "When I find you, I'm going to--" 

Whatever Naruto was going to say will remain forever shrouded in mystery, for he had foolishly stopped running and was eaten by the crab monster.

^______________________________^

Sakura stopped walking and abruptly sat down, wiping the sweat off her forehead.

"One, two, three, four, five, six… only one more egg to go." She said, counting her eggs and smiling to herself. Suddenly a bush rustled nearby and she jumped to her feet, shuriken in hand. 

"Who's there?" She called.

Sasuke stepped out from the bush, one hand holding Naruto's basket and the other held up to show that he was holding no weapons.

"It's just me." Sasuke said.

Sakura put her shuriken away and smiled charmingly at Sasuke.

"What are you doing here Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke was silent for a moment and simply stared at Sakura. Then he walked slowly forward, an enticing smile lighting his lips. 

"I came here for you Sakura." He purred.

Sakura stared at him open mouthed. 

"M-me?" she stuttered. Sasuke reached up and gently brushed a stand of hair away from her face.

"Yes you! For, you see, I'm in love with you." He said and kissed her on the lips. Sakura, by some miracle, managed not to pass out. However, she did seem to be frozen in shock. Sasuke took that opportunity to hit her in the back of the head with a kunai and knock her out. She fell to the ground without a sound.

Sasuke grabbed the basket she had dropped on the ground and glanced through the contents. He was upset to find that all the eggs had been broken but one. Shrugging, he pulled out the unbroken egg and placed it in his stolen basket. 

"Sucker." He muttered and leapt out of sight. No one ever saw Sakura again. It is assumed that the crab monster ate her.

^______________________________^

Kakashi sat on a rock outside the Forest of Death, thumbing through his copy of Icha Icha Paradise. 

"I'm done." Sasuke declared, appearing on the rock beside Kakashi. Kakashi reluctantly glanced up from his book. "You got seven eggs?"

Sasuke nodded his head. 

Kakashi gave him a glare that said 'You had better have seven eggs in that basket or I'm going to cause you pain. Lot's of pain.' He glanced in the basket and counted the eggs, not bothering to see if they were broken or not.

"Looks like Naruto wins."

"… pardon?"

"That's Naruto's basket. I clearly said 'bring _your_ basket back me filled with seven eggs'. Not 'bring anybody's basket back to me, so long as it's full of eggs.' So Naruto wins." He stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Sasuke stared from the basket to Kakashi several times, then brightened as he was struck with an idea.

"Be right back." He said and grabbed the basket, running off.

Kakashi shrugged and went back to his book.

^______________________________^

"Oh, hello Sakura! Fancy meeting you here."

"Shut up. Just… shut up."

"Oh come on, lighten up!"

"Have you _looked_ around lately? We are in the stomach of some mutated crab, being slowly and painfully digested! It smells, it's slimy, and I'm too young to die!"

"Hey, at least we get to die together!"

"I'd rather stab myself to death."

"You know, you could be a little nicer."

Silence.

"Hey, do you wanna play Rock, Paper, Scissors?

"Well I guess we should, we might not have arms that much longer."

^______________________________^

"I'm back." Sasuke announced and set a blue basket on the rock next to Kakashi. He stared at it, then looked at Sasuke. 

"What'd you do? Spray paint it?"

Sasuke looked at him innocently. "I would never cheat like that!"

"Oh. Well here's your reward." He said, and handed Sasuke a chocolate bunny.

Sasuke stared at the bunny mournfully. 

"That's it?"

"Yup." Kakashi stated lazily.

Sasuke shrugged and unwrapped it.

"Say, where are Naruto and Sakura?"

"Oh, they were eaten by some crab thing." Sasuke mumbled, biting an arm off the bunny. 

There was dead silence.

"Do you think we should tell anybody?" Kakashi asked timidly.

"No, of course not." Sasuke answered.

"Alright then. Let's get going." Kakashi said and jumped off the rock. The two walked away, Kakashi whistling innocently and Sasuke biting off the poor bunny's ears.

^______________________________^

O.o Ok trust me, this sounded a lot funnier when me and my friend were talking about it. You know how you imagine something in your head but you can't write it out? It's never quite the same. Anyways, we wanted everyone but Sasuke to die in the end. ^_^. And hey, I did warn you. I said not everybody would make it out alive.


End file.
